Here’s a test:

I’m holding a baby in one hand and a petri dish holding a fetus in the other.

I’m going to drop one. You chose which.

If you really truly believe a fetus is the same thing as a baby, it should be impossible for you to decide. You should have to flip a coin, that’s how impossible the decision should be.

Shot in the dark, you saved the baby.

Because you’re aware there’s a difference.

Now admit it






men love “fat asses” and big titties but act like those things commonly exist naturally on thin women and they “don’t count” when accompanied by a jiggly belly and thick thighs
lol ok


I did this like a month ago but forgot to post it

What kind of morning is it? I'll tell you:

  • Me: *the only 5'1" pale bitch on a crowded train in Flatbush*
  • Some rude bitch: *sits with her elbow resting through the railing like she ain't been raised*
  • Me: *accidentally brushes against her elbow as I'm letting people onto the train*
  • Rude bitch: *snatches elbow away from me and scoffs* "look bitch..." *rolls eyes*
  • Crowd: *oooo's*
  • Me: *still facing away* *v seriously and slowly* "it's too goddamn early..."
  • Her: "what did you say?"
  • Me: "I said fuck you."
  • Crowd: *gasps*
  • Me: "but since you own this entire fucking train why don't you tell it to hurry the fuck up so I'm not late for work?"
  • madselfiegame:


all a girl wants to hear from a guy, really


    1) I want to rent hotel rooms with you and spend more than half our time being outside.

    2) I want to get lost while we’re driving because I can’t read maps and you are too stubborn to ask for directions.

    3) I want to eat drive-thru food with you on the floor of our first apartment.

    4) I want to get drunk in public and have you take me home while I hit on you.

    5) I want to go on long adventures with you.

    6) I want to go to the movies and make out with you in the back like a couple of over excited teenagers.

    7) I want to lay with you under the stars and talk about the future like I’ve got it all planned.

    8) I want to break in your arms once in a while because I don’t have it all planned.

    9) I want to bore with you with my favorite shows and movies even though you insist it is okay.

    10) I want to play video games with you and sulk when I lose.

    11) I want to paint you in my poems.

    12) I want to dance with you.

    13) I want to spend the rest of my life with you, knowing there’s no place else I’d rather be.



    it has been one of my greatest dreams to beat the living shit out of something at least once so god fucking help anybody that ever tries to assault me because i will be brimming with every violent urge that i have ever tucked away in my entire life





water is wet

the sun is hot

leaves are green

Republicans are white

    A Cold One


    Senior Student:  “Sir, you strike me as a beer man.”

    Me:  “How can you tell?”

    Him:  “Well, though you’re easily refined enough for wine, I doubt you’d have the patience to sit around reading about a beverage.  You’re a man of the people.”

    I look at the pile of marking I have next on my desk.

    Me:  “You know your essay’s in that stack, right?”

    Him:  “Absolutely.”